Maybe I am preventing it from happening...

I read an 'ok' book, called 'Venus Envy', which, according to Lucas, is Chick Lit (CL). Wait a minute...

Chick - slang for a young, pretty, sassy female
Lit - connotes literary aspect

Therefore, I conclude that CL is actually a nice compliment indeed. Imagine, I am a literary, young, pretty, sassy female. I could always look at the better side of the comment haha...

Anyway, I digressed

Back to 'Venus Envy'. It's about this romantically orientated girl who keeps searching for true love yet focusses too much on the romantic part and dated jerks instead of her true-love-guy. Sounds confusing, but I believe I messed up on the description, but it's a great book. Anyway, one thing was that she often tortures herself by not taking the one obvious guy for her, preferring to go the long route and search for her 'romanticism' instead. She cannot commit.

Somehow she reminds me of me. The cannot commit part, I mean. I always find it the hardest to know when the guy is the one for you; when he asks you out, you know you can go out with him and not go 'ewwww' later. It's so difficult to come to terms with it and make a choice about your guy. I mean, what if he turned out to be disgusting instead? How can you be so sure that the decision that you make now is perfectly correct?

See, it's my fickleness cum impulsiveness. Sounds contradictory. I am the kind of girl that willingly buys a bottle of nail polish because everyone else is buying something and then go home and stare at the nail polish and think, this is the most grotesque thing I've ever seen what possessed me to buy it i am such a rash person but when I bought it I thought it was nice but now I don't like it.

That was a stream of conciousness. But it shows the fickleness cum impulsiveness.

And I am torturing myself. I cannot content myself ever.