A rare period of self reflection. Yah, like real.
You know how after something has happened to you, you suddenly see everything in very clear light?
And all the phrases, the emotions, the advices that seem so cliched in the past become really meaningful and applicable?
I hate those times.
It's almost like a literal slap across the face 'I told you so! Why are you so stupid?'
I used to laugh at those people who say stupid rubbish cliched lines like 'Time will heal all wounds'. Cause, honestly, how much more cliched can you get?!! That's like cliched flipped 20 times over! I told myself I don't EVER wanna get acquinted with this phrase ever. Honestly. It's so damn cheesey I want to block that phrase out of my personal sphere. In fact, I'd rather fancied 'A shopping spree / hot guys / Manolo Blahniks will heal all wounds'
Bloody hell. Now I'm starting to think if this phrase might make sense after all!
What's wrong with me!
I still want to believe a ...
(Okay, new Manolo Blahniks are out on the Neiman Marcus website... I have to digress)
Okay, I still want to believe 'A pair of Zebra Stripe Slingback Manolo Blahniks will heal all wounds' or maybe 'A pair of Gucci Slingbacks will heal all wounds'
I don't believe this, I wanted to write a serious reflective entry!!! Why do I keep digressing to shopping for shoes (which I cannot afford!!!)
Okay, so the basic idea is that, I still want to be nonchalant and dismissive and wave my hands in the air when someone gives me 'good advice' like 'time will heal all wounds'. Because I don't want to experience bad stuff! I don't want to go through the bad stuff!!!!! NO!!!
Seriously, I don't want to become old and wrinkled and cynical and nod my head wisely whenever someone says 'time will heal all wounds'. I don't know why, I just don't. I know, this sounds like I don't want to grow up, I don't want to experience and learn lessons from my experiences.
Maybe the truth is that I just don't want the bad, I only want to good.
Is that too much to ask? (YES IT IS)
I don't ever want to grow up. It's not time yet. I still want to stay in a good moment forever. Any good moment, I'm not picky. Just a moment when I was contented, when I have things to look forward to, when the future's still too far to contemplate (it probably still is), and all I'm living for is to go out on weekends with my friends.
A moment when going to school is fun, can talk rubbish with friends in lecture, can check out the cute guy across the lecture hall with Val and Cher and lunch hours last forever talking with the daer people.
A moment when I can step into a club and really have fun without breaking down all the time, where i can drink and laugh and the next morning wake up and do it all over again!
A moment when I've just got to know a guy, and the happiness that washes over me all the time, all the uncertainty, all the excitment and all the subsequent happiness...
A moment where I can sit at Sakae sushi with the crazy jc group and eat 50 plates of food, and sit at the counter being totally mad, taking photos, daring each other to eat more, complaining that we are going to puke, but still sitting there and just talking nonsense!
Maybe I'm just not as strong as I thought, haha... I don't wanna deal with bad stuff!!!
I guess it will be nice to be hopeful and optimistic about everything that happens. I will face up to reality, I just don't want to become jaded. I don't want to become dark and gloomy. I believe everything will work itself out just fine if I just not become jaded and cynical. I still want to be happy, if only for my friends! I don't think a depressed person will be very nice to hang out with! Ha ha!
++++++++++++++++++++++
It's time to put up walls again.
++++++++++++++++++++++
Anyway, everyone's been so nice to me... I honestly appreciate everything... And I just want to say, I want them to know that they can always come to talk to me about anything at all. I'm here to listen...
And all the phrases, the emotions, the advices that seem so cliched in the past become really meaningful and applicable?
I hate those times.
It's almost like a literal slap across the face 'I told you so! Why are you so stupid?'
I used to laugh at those people who say stupid rubbish cliched lines like 'Time will heal all wounds'. Cause, honestly, how much more cliched can you get?!! That's like cliched flipped 20 times over! I told myself I don't EVER wanna get acquinted with this phrase ever. Honestly. It's so damn cheesey I want to block that phrase out of my personal sphere. In fact, I'd rather fancied 'A shopping spree / hot guys / Manolo Blahniks will heal all wounds'
Bloody hell. Now I'm starting to think if this phrase might make sense after all!
What's wrong with me!
I still want to believe a ...
(Okay, new Manolo Blahniks are out on the Neiman Marcus website... I have to digress)
Okay, I still want to believe 'A pair of Zebra Stripe Slingback Manolo Blahniks will heal all wounds' or maybe 'A pair of Gucci Slingbacks will heal all wounds'
I don't believe this, I wanted to write a serious reflective entry!!! Why do I keep digressing to shopping for shoes (which I cannot afford!!!)
Okay, so the basic idea is that, I still want to be nonchalant and dismissive and wave my hands in the air when someone gives me 'good advice' like 'time will heal all wounds'. Because I don't want to experience bad stuff! I don't want to go through the bad stuff!!!!! NO!!!
Seriously, I don't want to become old and wrinkled and cynical and nod my head wisely whenever someone says 'time will heal all wounds'. I don't know why, I just don't. I know, this sounds like I don't want to grow up, I don't want to experience and learn lessons from my experiences.
Maybe the truth is that I just don't want the bad, I only want to good.
Is that too much to ask? (YES IT IS)
I don't ever want to grow up. It's not time yet. I still want to stay in a good moment forever. Any good moment, I'm not picky. Just a moment when I was contented, when I have things to look forward to, when the future's still too far to contemplate (it probably still is), and all I'm living for is to go out on weekends with my friends.
A moment when going to school is fun, can talk rubbish with friends in lecture, can check out the cute guy across the lecture hall with Val and Cher and lunch hours last forever talking with the daer people.
A moment when I can step into a club and really have fun without breaking down all the time, where i can drink and laugh and the next morning wake up and do it all over again!
A moment when I've just got to know a guy, and the happiness that washes over me all the time, all the uncertainty, all the excitment and all the subsequent happiness...
A moment where I can sit at Sakae sushi with the crazy jc group and eat 50 plates of food, and sit at the counter being totally mad, taking photos, daring each other to eat more, complaining that we are going to puke, but still sitting there and just talking nonsense!
Maybe I'm just not as strong as I thought, haha... I don't wanna deal with bad stuff!!!
I guess it will be nice to be hopeful and optimistic about everything that happens. I will face up to reality, I just don't want to become jaded. I don't want to become dark and gloomy. I believe everything will work itself out just fine if I just not become jaded and cynical. I still want to be happy, if only for my friends! I don't think a depressed person will be very nice to hang out with! Ha ha!
++++++++++++++++++++++
It's time to put up walls again.
++++++++++++++++++++++
Anyway, everyone's been so nice to me... I honestly appreciate everything... And I just want to say, I want them to know that they can always come to talk to me about anything at all. I'm here to listen...
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