what do you do
when everything is crumbling, but you cannot do a thing to make it better?
I feel so helpless and useless. I was never there when my friends needed me, and I can be selfish at times, when it comes to giving and taking. I can't help it, I'm sorry, sometimes I just forget. And yes, if it's important, you don't forget. There are really no excuses for it. I think it's because I am used to settling any problems myself. Crying alone, thinking alone, being alone. I still do that mostly, and I probably will continue to. And I think everyone's like me, but it's not true. So... I'm trying to be a better friend to all my friends.
Marketing Stars Night! Ade, Me, Yanting, Ryl and Cher.
It was mediocore... Cause I went there later, like 2 hours late, and missed all the programs. Eeks Guinness Stout. Haha. It's so... wheaty. I don't like... :/
Later headed to Alley Bar, where I had (yet another) Kiwi Margarita. Oh Appletinis are only 10 bucks each!
Went home.
Sometimes, I think I'm going out just for the sake of going out.Sometimes I think I am just not facing it. Oh well. *shrug. What to do.
Friday was super packed!
Woke up with sore eyes. :/ Rushed to school for project in glasses cause of sore eyes. Project - lunch - SPSS class.
Then had the SMP mentoring appreciation event, and I didn't really wanna lug around lots of stuff to the event, so I was thinking, maybe I'll just pop home and leave the stuff. Then go back to school, since got 2 hours anyway.
THEN.
I realised I have NO KEYS when I reached home.
:/
And no one's home. Mum's out, doing a facial (again!!!!!!) and basically, I just sat around on the doorstep, feeling really dumb. Made plans with Caleb to go to the appreciation event. Then went back to school.
:/
How come everyone's shocked when they see me in jeans?!! Haha... These couple of weeks, everytimes\ I wear jeans, people will be asking me 'Why are you wearing jeans?' Hurhur. Like, 4 people have told me that. I didn't know I made my distaste for jeans that obvious :p And that people know me so well. HAha. That being said, I do own jeans (Levi's and British India somemore!) and I do wear them. :P When the occasion calls for it, I'll wear it.
Appreciation was fun!!! We took a lot of mad photos. Which is the the usual, whenever Mel and Hui are around. =D Songyuan and Dehui were so funny as MCs!
Last minute crazy decision to go to Phuture! Mel, Hui, Caleb and I got onto a cab. Mel was already suitably dressed, so she dropped Hui first to change, then me, then Caleb. Later made a detour to fetch Hui and me and went to Zouk. Hahahaha. Cab fare came up to 25 bucks... That's like even more ex than midnight charge back to our place. HAha.
Clubbing with them was fun, as usual!
2 cosmopolitans, 2 tequila shots... So I was still quite sober really. Haha.
Can't really see anything though, cause removed my contact lenses due to sore eyes.
HAlfway, like about 230, I walked out of Phuture. Told Mel and Hui to stay there, I'll come find them later (on hindsight, wasn't a good idea, cause I had no contact lenses on, and hp is at baggage counter.)
Walked to the corner of Zouk, near the bridge, and stood there for a while.
There were too many thoughts spinning in my mind. And the club was almost too stifling for a while. I just needed some space. It just rained, so the air was cool and a little breezy. The floor was a little wet, but it didn't bother me. I leaned on the railing, and let the thoughts just wash over me, cause I simply don't want to keep holding back anymore.
Did you know... that I had so many plans?
Maybe it's like the entry on Mel's blog, and HChing's tag. I don't know why it affects me so, but it does... I paraphrase 'maybe it's not because you cannot forget, but because you dwell on it too much'
'Just take it as an experience...'
Okay.
+++
And the cab driver was so funny. Was chatting with him on the way back. He said Mel's very pretty. And he thought Hui, Mel and I were 17!! =D=D=D
+++
Kind of published some old drafts I had these couple of weeks... It feels good to just purge rather than to keep it still as sad looking drafts in blogger. (At the risk of looking like an idiot, but what the hell, just leap! I know I have my safety net.)
I feel so helpless and useless. I was never there when my friends needed me, and I can be selfish at times, when it comes to giving and taking. I can't help it, I'm sorry, sometimes I just forget. And yes, if it's important, you don't forget. There are really no excuses for it. I think it's because I am used to settling any problems myself. Crying alone, thinking alone, being alone. I still do that mostly, and I probably will continue to. And I think everyone's like me, but it's not true. So... I'm trying to be a better friend to all my friends.
Marketing Stars Night! Ade, Me, Yanting, Ryl and Cher.
It was mediocore... Cause I went there later, like 2 hours late, and missed all the programs. Eeks Guinness Stout. Haha. It's so... wheaty. I don't like... :/
Later headed to Alley Bar, where I had (yet another) Kiwi Margarita. Oh Appletinis are only 10 bucks each!
Went home.
Sometimes, I think I'm going out just for the sake of going out.Sometimes I think I am just not facing it. Oh well. *shrug. What to do.
Friday was super packed!
Woke up with sore eyes. :/ Rushed to school for project in glasses cause of sore eyes. Project - lunch - SPSS class.
Then had the SMP mentoring appreciation event, and I didn't really wanna lug around lots of stuff to the event, so I was thinking, maybe I'll just pop home and leave the stuff. Then go back to school, since got 2 hours anyway.
THEN.
I realised I have NO KEYS when I reached home.
:/
And no one's home. Mum's out, doing a facial (again!!!!!!) and basically, I just sat around on the doorstep, feeling really dumb. Made plans with Caleb to go to the appreciation event. Then went back to school.
:/
How come everyone's shocked when they see me in jeans?!! Haha... These couple of weeks, everytimes\ I wear jeans, people will be asking me 'Why are you wearing jeans?' Hurhur. Like, 4 people have told me that. I didn't know I made my distaste for jeans that obvious :p And that people know me so well. HAha. That being said, I do own jeans (Levi's and British India somemore!) and I do wear them. :P When the occasion calls for it, I'll wear it.
Appreciation was fun!!! We took a lot of mad photos. Which is the the usual, whenever Mel and Hui are around. =D Songyuan and Dehui were so funny as MCs!
Last minute crazy decision to go to Phuture! Mel, Hui, Caleb and I got onto a cab. Mel was already suitably dressed, so she dropped Hui first to change, then me, then Caleb. Later made a detour to fetch Hui and me and went to Zouk. Hahahaha. Cab fare came up to 25 bucks... That's like even more ex than midnight charge back to our place. HAha.
Clubbing with them was fun, as usual!
2 cosmopolitans, 2 tequila shots... So I was still quite sober really. Haha.
Can't really see anything though, cause removed my contact lenses due to sore eyes.
HAlfway, like about 230, I walked out of Phuture. Told Mel and Hui to stay there, I'll come find them later (on hindsight, wasn't a good idea, cause I had no contact lenses on, and hp is at baggage counter.)
Walked to the corner of Zouk, near the bridge, and stood there for a while.
There were too many thoughts spinning in my mind. And the club was almost too stifling for a while. I just needed some space. It just rained, so the air was cool and a little breezy. The floor was a little wet, but it didn't bother me. I leaned on the railing, and let the thoughts just wash over me, cause I simply don't want to keep holding back anymore.
Did you know... that I had so many plans?
Maybe it's like the entry on Mel's blog, and HChing's tag. I don't know why it affects me so, but it does... I paraphrase 'maybe it's not because you cannot forget, but because you dwell on it too much'
'Just take it as an experience...'
Okay.
+++
And the cab driver was so funny. Was chatting with him on the way back. He said Mel's very pretty. And he thought Hui, Mel and I were 17!! =D=D=D
+++
Kind of published some old drafts I had these couple of weeks... It feels good to just purge rather than to keep it still as sad looking drafts in blogger. (At the risk of looking like an idiot, but what the hell, just leap! I know I have my safety net.)
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