I am not growing up (edited)
I know I'm supposed to write something about stuff that I bought during shopping trips and stuff, but somehow I just lost the feeling of writing something frivolous. So I just I'll let the pictures do the talking, and write about other stuff instead.
Sometimes I wonder if buying stuff may be my way of filling in voids in other areas.
It's not fun to buy things anymore. It's become a numbing experience.
I am bored again today. Went to watch movie with bro, Fantastic 4, which I thoroughly enjoyed.
Of lousy parenting.
Saw something today that really made my blood boil. A kid was being scolded by his father for some reason I don't know. He is crying and his toy truck was on the floor. Alex told me he was being hit by his father on the back by the toy truck. He is crying. Then his mother picked up the toy truck and proceeded to hit the boy on the back of his head with her hands! The sound was so damn loud that I could hear it even when I was a good 10 metres away.
I don't understand it. You do NOT hit a 3 year old kid on the head. He could be very naughty, he could have been playing on the road, he could have been throwing a tantrum. You do NOT hit a kid at the back of his head. Isn't that just common sense?!
F*ck it. I am just thoroughly disgusted. I am also angry at myself for not doing anything. But seriously, what would I have done? I don't know. I almost wished I didn't see what happened so I wouldn't feel so angry.
Bloody inhumane parents.
Being abandoned?
I am feeling abandoned again. By many people. Am I not trying hard enough, or am I trying too hard?
Sometimes I wished I didn't feel sad and angry so often.
Other times I wonder how things would have been like if I hadn't took this path. Would I be happier or sadder? Would I have experienced such upsides and downswings? I don't want to know. I am glad I took this path, I guess. I wished it was smoother. Or do I?
What I want
I can't remember if it was an episode of Sex and the City or something I read somewhere... maybe 11 Minutes (Paulo Coelho). Paraphrasing - people want to feel pain and anguish, then they are convinced that they are in love. Something like that.
Was telling Sam - I want to feel everything. I don't want numbing stability. I want to feel the extremes. Not happy, but ecstatic. Not sad, but heartbroken. Not angry but furious. I want the depth of emotions, the light hearted moments, the intensity of intimacy, the flirty banter.
I guess different girls crave different things. Maybe some crave stability. Maybe some crave passion. I don't know. I guess I don't know what I want, that's why I want everything. Hur. :p
Aiyaaaaaaa. I don't know what I'm talking about sometimes.
I want to see you.
Decided to have a life anyway, I'm kind of not 'reserving' weekends anymore. Yvonne and I were talking about how girls would drop everything to go meet a guy... all the time. And guys would do it... sometimes. She was telling me about her ex, who would 'allocate' timeslots to meet people, and she would be 'allocated' some time between his group of friends A and group of friends B. And we were talking about how there is how girls differ from guys.
Something we both have in common - while waiting for the guy to ask us out, we'd try as hard to leave weekends free. And then when people ask if we are free during the weekend, we'd try to hedge, until it's confirmed that we'd not meeting him, then we'd frantically try to make other plans.
Quite pathetic right. Haha.
Some girls la, not all. But still -
Decided it's a stupid thing to do, and decided to have a real life already! Also more independent, I guess. I am growing up and learning :D Hee. I know you'd be proud of me right? :)
Sometimes I wonder if buying stuff may be my way of filling in voids in other areas.
It's not fun to buy things anymore. It's become a numbing experience.
I am bored again today. Went to watch movie with bro, Fantastic 4, which I thoroughly enjoyed.
Of lousy parenting.
Saw something today that really made my blood boil. A kid was being scolded by his father for some reason I don't know. He is crying and his toy truck was on the floor. Alex told me he was being hit by his father on the back by the toy truck. He is crying. Then his mother picked up the toy truck and proceeded to hit the boy on the back of his head with her hands! The sound was so damn loud that I could hear it even when I was a good 10 metres away.
I don't understand it. You do NOT hit a 3 year old kid on the head. He could be very naughty, he could have been playing on the road, he could have been throwing a tantrum. You do NOT hit a kid at the back of his head. Isn't that just common sense?!
F*ck it. I am just thoroughly disgusted. I am also angry at myself for not doing anything. But seriously, what would I have done? I don't know. I almost wished I didn't see what happened so I wouldn't feel so angry.
Bloody inhumane parents.
Being abandoned?
I am feeling abandoned again. By many people. Am I not trying hard enough, or am I trying too hard?
Sometimes I wished I didn't feel sad and angry so often.
Other times I wonder how things would have been like if I hadn't took this path. Would I be happier or sadder? Would I have experienced such upsides and downswings? I don't want to know. I am glad I took this path, I guess. I wished it was smoother. Or do I?
What I want
I can't remember if it was an episode of Sex and the City or something I read somewhere... maybe 11 Minutes (Paulo Coelho). Paraphrasing - people want to feel pain and anguish, then they are convinced that they are in love. Something like that.
Was telling Sam - I want to feel everything. I don't want numbing stability. I want to feel the extremes. Not happy, but ecstatic. Not sad, but heartbroken. Not angry but furious. I want the depth of emotions, the light hearted moments, the intensity of intimacy, the flirty banter.
I guess different girls crave different things. Maybe some crave stability. Maybe some crave passion. I don't know. I guess I don't know what I want, that's why I want everything. Hur. :p
Aiyaaaaaaa. I don't know what I'm talking about sometimes.
I want to see you.
Decided to have a life anyway, I'm kind of not 'reserving' weekends anymore. Yvonne and I were talking about how girls would drop everything to go meet a guy... all the time. And guys would do it... sometimes. She was telling me about her ex, who would 'allocate' timeslots to meet people, and she would be 'allocated' some time between his group of friends A and group of friends B. And we were talking about how there is how girls differ from guys.
Something we both have in common - while waiting for the guy to ask us out, we'd try as hard to leave weekends free. And then when people ask if we are free during the weekend, we'd try to hedge, until it's confirmed that we'd not meeting him, then we'd frantically try to make other plans.
Quite pathetic right. Haha.
Some girls la, not all. But still -
Decided it's a stupid thing to do, and decided to have a real life already! Also more independent, I guess. I am growing up and learning :D Hee. I know you'd be proud of me right? :)
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