Trying

It's just so difficult now, I always have to vet what I'm going to say, lest I say something that might make us both awkward (or at least, make me feel stupid). And I don't really dare to make any more assumptions. And also constantly remind myself that there are some things I am not entitled to anymore, that he's not obligated to do for me anymore...

Good morning and good night messages
Telling him I'm going somewhere / doing something
A little bit of contact everyday
Calling him first thing when something goes wrong

The list goes on.

And after last night, I think I am a little more confused than ever. It was such a sweet gesture, all the things I've wanted to do, all the regrets that I had. He's giving me a chance to do it again. I was touched beyond words. I guess, I'm kind of thrown on how to respond. A million thoughts flying through my mind. But one thought stood out - He's right, when he wants to make someone really happy, he could

What does this mean?

Should I wait for him to say something? Should I ask him? Should I say movie's starting, let's go?

Ultimately, I chose the easy way out. Cause I don't want to know just what it signifies.

So Sam asked me to go out with them tonight, I said, No... I'm not really in the mood to. Tomorrow? I don't know... no mood either.

I've got to do something, go somewhere, I know. Get up, get going.

Even school... I'm totally screwing up this semester, and I'm just so not bothered I'm kind of scaring myself.

I'm trying to...

Don't know...

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Thanks for all the care and concern everyone :)Sam, SL, Mike, Caleb, Mel, Wenyi, Weisiong, Cheryl.

It's nice to know that you are loved...

It's nice to be hugged. =)

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